Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
