Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
