dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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