my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Randomize
