i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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