I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
