I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
