Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think your dad took our porno
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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