You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
should my penis look like a turkey
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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