Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
