walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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