Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I FOUND THE LEGS
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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