holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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