I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
