i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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