I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
