You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
