Already got asked if we're dating
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
babies were throwing up all over the place
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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