Fuck appropriateness.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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