David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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