It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
