We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
