I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
