would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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