Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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