Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
