She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
