I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
