I'm jealous of your bromance
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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