How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
