we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
