was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
