Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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