Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
