I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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