make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
