I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Are my feet made of real feet?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
