I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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