Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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