Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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