I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
