cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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