How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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