I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
