so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
