where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
