He kissed a someone with a penis
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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