I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
