At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
