Your dad touched me again.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
