Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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