you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
