susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
