my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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